Story. Рассказы на английском

The London consul of a continental kingdom was informed by his government that one of his countrywomen, supposed to be living in Great Britain, had been left a large fortune. After advertising without result, he applied to the police, and a smart young detective was set to work. A few weeks later his chief asked how he was getting on."I've found the lady, sir.""Good! Where is she?""At my place. I married her yesterday."

FORTUNE HUNTERSHER FATHER—"So my daughter has consented to become your wife. Have you fixed the day of the wedding?"SUITOR—"I will leave that to my fiancée."H.F.—"Will you have a church or a private wedding?"S.—"Her mother can decide that, sir."H.F.—"What have you to live on?"S.—"I will leave that entirely to you, sir."🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы👇 Дарите звёзды

"Mike, I wish I knew where I was goin' to die. I'd give a thousand dollars to know the place where I'm goin' to die.""Well, Pat, what good would it do if yez knew?""Lots," said Pat. "Shure I'd never go near that place."

FORESIGHT"They tell me you're working 'ard night an' day, Sarah?" her bosom friend Ann said."Yes," returned Sarah. "I'm under bonds to keep the peace for pullin' the whiskers out of that old scoundrel of a husban' of mine, and the Magistrate said that if I come afore 'im ag'in, or laid me 'ands on the old man, he'd fine me forty shillin's!""And so you're working 'ard to keep out of mischief?""Not much; I'm workin' 'ard to save up the fine!"

FORECASTINGA lady in a southern town was approached by her colored maid."Well, Jenny?" she asked, seeing that something was in the air."Please, Mis' Mary, might I have the aft'noon off three weeks frum Wednesday?" Then, noticing an undecided look in her mistress's face, she added hastily—"I want to go to my finance's fun'ral.""Goodness me," answered the lady—"Your finance's funeral! Why, you don't know that he's even going to die, let alone the date of his funeral. That is something we can't any of us be sure about—when we are going to die.""Yes'm," said the girl doubtfully. Then, with a triumphant note in her voice—"I'se sure about him, Mis', 'cos he's goin' to be hung!"

A farmer noticing a man in automobile garb standing in the road and gazing upward, asked him if he were watching the birds."No," he answered, "I was cranking my Ford car and my hand slipped off and the thing got away and went straight up in the air."

FORDSA boy stood with one foot on the sidewalk and the other on the step of a Ford automobile. A playmate passed him, looked at his position, then sang out: "Hey, Bobbie, have you lost your other skate?"

🕵️ Короткий рассказ в оригинале осилить — кайф. А вот целый роман Конан Дойля?В Osmo Lingo «Собака Баскервилей» открывается полным текстом — без адаптации. Но если строчка тяжёлая, ставишь уровень помягче (C1 / B1 / A2) — AI перестраивает.Текст разбит на фразы, не на слова. Тапаешь «upon those not infrequent occasions» — видишь перевод, грамматику и где ещё так говорят.От рассказа О. Генри к полному Sherlock — с той же лёгкостью.👉 t.me/OsmoLingoBot?start=ref_one_story

FOOTBALLHis SISTER—"His nose seems broken."His FIANCEE—"And he's lost his front teeth."His MOTHER—"But he didn't drop the ball!"—Life.

A hungry customer seated himself at a table in a quick-lunch restaurant and ordered a chicken pie. When it arrived he raised the lid and sat gazing at the contents intently for a while. Finally he called the waiter."Look here, Sam," he said, "what did I order?""Chicken pie, sah.""And what have you brought me?""Chicken pie, sah.""Chicken pie, you black rascal!" the customer replied. "Chicken pie? Why, there's not a piece of chicken in it, and never was.""Dat's right, boss—dey ain't no chicken in it.""Then why do you call it chicken pie? I never heard of such a thing.""Dat's all right, boss. Dey don't have to be no chicken in a chicken pie. Dey ain't no dog in a dog biscuit, is dey?"

A girl reading in a paper that fish was excellent brain-food wrote to the editor:Dear Sir: Seeing as you say how fish is good for the brains, what kind of fish shall I eat?To this the editor replied:Dear Miss: Judging from the composition of your letter I should advise you to eat a whale.🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы👇 Дарите звёзды

One day a pastor was calling upon a dear old lady, one of the "pillars" of the church to which they both belonged. As he thought of her long and useful life, and looked upon her sweet, placid countenance bearing but few tokens of her ninety-two years of earthly pilgrimage, he was moved to ask her, "My dear Mrs. S., what has been the chief source of your strength and sustenance during all these years? What has appealed to you as the real basis of your unusual vigor of mind and body, and has been to you an unfailing comfort through joy and sorrow? Tell me, that I may pass the secret on to others, and, if possible, profit by it myself."The old lady thought a moment, then lifting her eyes, dim with age, yet kindling with sweet memories of the past, answered briefly, "Victuals."—Sarah L. Tenney.🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы👇 Дарите звёзды

FOODA man went into a southern restaurant not long ago and asked for a piece of old-fashioned Washington pie. The waiter, not understanding and yet unwilling to concede his lack of knowledge, brought the customer a piece of chocolate cake."No, no, my friend," said the smiling man. "I meant George Washington, not Booker Washington."

FLOWERSLulu was watching her mother working among the flowers. "Mama, I know why flowers grow," she said; "they want to get out of the dirt."🇬🇧 @one_story | Культурные каналы👇 Дарите звёзды

Друзья, уже более 10 лет в Telegram существует канал «Школа мышления. Вояж в страну загадок». Это интеллектуальное пространство для тех, кто ценит ясность мышления и нестандартный подход к задачам, где головоломки переплетаются с историями из прошлого и наблюдениями из реальной жизни, превращаясь в изысканный тренажёр для ума. С учётом текущих реалий мы создали зеркало в Max.Если Telegram когда-либо окажется недоступен — встретимся там:👉 https://max.ru/shkolamishleniA — просто перейдите по ссылке.Или найдите нас, вбив в строку поиска Max’a: @shkolamishleniA.Подпишитесь заранее, чтобы не потеряться!